Missing Moments
by TheBoglies
Summary: Find out what happends in between the scenes - as Archie and Katrina contemplate their future at Glenbogle.
1. Part 1

**THE MISSING M0MENTS - PART 1 - BY: MOMI**

The couple sitting by the loch looked both loving and sad. Stella watched them from the house wondering what would be the outcome. She mentally shrugged her shoulders and decided to call it a day. It had turned out better than she had thought and she was looking forward to relaxing back at her room in town with a hot cup of tea.

Down at the loch, Archie turned to Katrina and said, "I think we need to talk about this. Do you want to stay for dinner?"

Katrina shook her blond head. "Not tonight, Archie," she said quietly. "I've got to think and I need an early night. It's Inverness first thing in the morning."

Archie stood and held out a hand to Katrina. They walked back to the house and Katrina turned to leave. "Katrina, tomorrow evening then. It's the weekend and we'll have a quiet dinner at your place, okay?"

"That's fine, Arch. It's a date." She leaned over and brushed her lips against his cheek then turned to get into her car. Archie watched her leave, his feelings in turmoil. What were they going to do, he wondered. A deep sigh escaped his lips and he went in to ready himself for dinner. He needed to put on a pleasant face for the family, after all their support today.

Molly glanced at Archie as he walked into the dining room. She noticed that his smile didn't reach his eyes. She wished she could help him, but realized this is one problem he needed to work out for himself. Conversation revolved around Stella - how they stood up to her and wondering what plans she had for the estate. As it concluded, Archie excused himself saying he wanted to review Stella's proposal and be ready for anything tomorrow.

He walked into the library and picked up the folder Stella had left. Was it worth it, saving the estate, he wondered. It took so much time and money and now it might be taking something else away. He looked around the room with its worn furniture. Centuries of MacDonalds walked these halls. Why was he the one to be handed the responsibility?

He sat down in the chair and laid the folder on the floor. Glenbogle, he thought. You can't get away from it. He had already paid a hefty price, giving up the restaurant and the woman who had made him happy for five years. A whole way of life, gone in a blink. He thought about Justine. He had loved her. He sometimes missed her wicked sense of humor. She really tried to make it here, but she was a fish out of water. What he hadn't expected was his own complicity in bringing their relationship to an end. He could not bring himself to walk away from here, and it surprised him. In the end, it was his choice to give up the dream of staying with Justine and the life they had planned. If he was honest with himself, he knew that part of that decision was realizing that he never shared his life at Glenbogle with her; she was unprepared for it. But in fairness to himself, he had honestly believed that it wasn't his life. It was an agonizing time, with the two of them seeing that maybe they didn't have as much in common as they thought. And there was Katrina.

From their first meeting in the woods, she intrigued him. She was so intense, so passionate about her interests. She wasn't crazy about him at first and he wasn't too sure about her, but there was something that pulled at the two of them. An awareness, a competitiveness and definitely a sexual tension. They had a long period of a rocky non-relationship. She was fire to his ice. They couldn't seem to be together for any length of time before the bickering would start. When she left with Fergal, he was angry with himself for not saying anything to her about his feelings. Then when she returned, it seemed everything conspired to keep them apart.

For a moment, Archie smiled. He was thinking of Lexie and how that tiny scrap of a housekeeper had pushed him and Katrina together. She was quite special. As if thinking about her, conjured her up, Lexie appeared in the doorway with a glass of whiskey. She could see his suffering and wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around him and tell him everything would be okay.

"I'm off to my rest, now. But I thought you might be needing this. Archie, son, it's been a long day and there's more tomorrow. Finish the whiskey and get yourself some sleep." As she handed him the whiskey she leaned over and kissed the top of his head. "Night, night," she whispered as she left.

He sipped a bit of whiskey and let his mind wander again. Katrina. She needed a challenge and she loved politics. He chuckled at that thought. Yes, she was definitely a Party person. Her most recent challenge had been trying to reform him, turn him into a socialist. On and on she would go about how the idea of lairdship needed to be thrown in the dustbin. That Glenbogle belonged to the people. Well, they did agree on that point, but not how to accomplish it. She was smart and he often thought the estate and his family wouldn't be enough for her. She was gracious and would attend functions with him, but could it be enough? This was a great opportunity for her, she worked so hard for the recognition. Could he ask her to give it up and stay and help him with estate, to work against what she believed. What a conundrum. He sighed, Lexie was right. He'd finish his drink and headed off to bed.

**To be continued...**


	2. Part 2

**MISSING MOMENTS - PART 2 - BY: MOMI**

Katrina had driven home in the dusk, trying hard to stifle the pain that was ripping through her. Once she had passed the gates of Glenbogle, she let go of the tears that had been threatening since she said goodbye to Archie. She wouldn't let herself think about this until she was home with a cup of tea.

At last she was ready, or was she really? She wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and bury herself in the cocoon of sleep. That wasn't like her. She looked around the cottage. It was small but she had been happy here.

Before Archie came back to Glenbogle, she had thought she knew what she wanted and it wasn't a man to complicate things. She'd had that with Alan, but she had put that behind her and was ready to move on. She loved teaching and she was happy working close to home. She did owe Alan for getting her involved in the party. Growing up, she was lucky. She didn't suffer the hardship of most of the people in Glenbogle. Many of its young people just left for the cities looking for work and a better life. She wanted to make a difference, that's why she taught and why she involved herself in local politics.

She wasn't ready for Archie to enter her life. She had been trying to get people to realize that the Glenbogle Estate was an anachronism. Feudalism was dead and they deserved a better life than serving a bunch of selfish throwbacks to another era. She was committed to bringing them out of the middle ages and into the present. But it was like walking a tightrope, on one hand bringing work to the community, and on the other, making sure that the natural beauty of the area wasn't lost through progress.

Archie MacDonald. He represented a continuation of the old, everything she was fighting against. But he wasn't that way. Yes, he cared about his home and his family, but he also cared about the people. He really was trying in his own way, to bring change while maintaining a tradition. Still, she thought, the idea of lairdom had to go. Good grief, even in her mental ramblings she was on her soapbox. Get off it, girl, she told herself, you're avoiding the problem.

What did she want? She wanted Archie! He was the other half of her soul. She realized it almost immediately, even while thinking it was never going to work. But it did. Somehow, through all that had happened, they did come together. While she didn't like what he represented, she respected him and appreciated what he was trying to do. And he made her melt every time he looked at her. Oh they argued, but when all was said and done, he supported her as she tried to do for him, and it was fun making up. They were good together.

But she wasn't married to him yet, the thought insinuated itself into her head. They really hadn't talked about their future. Would things change? Would she become so wrapped up in Glenbogle and his plans that she wouldn't have time for her own needs? She wasn't Molly, happy to be Lady of Glenbogle, attending social functions and running a musty old castle. Would Archie's plans for Glenbogle be enough to keep her from boredom? What about children? Was she ready?

What would she be giving up? London, a chance to be a part of the action where changes were really made. To be able to use her knowledge of the area and her political lessons to further her vision for Glenbogle, that was what she'd be giving up. She couldn't believe she'd even got the offer. It was a dream come true - but then, so was Archie.

She knew he couldn't handle a long distance relationship, hardly seeing each other, long telephone calls. She didn't know if it would survive if they tried to give it a go. It was tough enough now, with her gone most of the week working as substitute where ever they sent her. She didn't really feel she was making any contributions to help Archie with the estate, although he thought she did. What do those Americans call it - a lose/lose situation. No matter what I do, she thought, I lose.

Maybe the best thing would be not to decide anything now. Just see what tomorrow brings. If Archie asks me to stay, I'll do it.

She rinsed out her cup and placed it in the sink. Enough, it's time for some rest.

**To be continued...**


	3. Finale

**The Missing Moments - Part Three The Final Curtain**

Katrina heard Archie coming. Her palms were clammy and her heart was pounding. She just didn't know what to expect. Opening the door, she again felt the impact of their attraction. They stood there searching each other's face in the hope of answer.

Archie looked down at the basket he was carrying. "Lexie put together this dinner for us. I think it's edible," he said trying to lighten the mood a little.

"She couldn't do worse than me," Katrina responded with a smile. "Come in and I'll get a bottle of wine."

The tension in the room was thick. It was obvious that neither of them had an appetite for dinner, but going through the motions at least filled the awkward silence.

Over dinner they discussed their day, sticking to a safe subject. But each time they made eye contact, they realized the real reason for this evening was waiting around the corner. They shared the clean up duties while Archie told Katrina about Useless' latest adventure. It was a bittersweet time.

At last, they couldn't put it off any longer and sitting in front of the fire with their wine, Archie looked at Katrina. "Have you come to a decision about the job?" he asked. His hand shook a little as he put the glass down.

A few terminably long seconds passed before Katrina answered. "Do you want me to stay, Archie?"

"God, yes, Katrina," he responded quickly.

"Then I won't take the job," Katrina felt a jolt of joy go through her at his words. At the same time she could feel a twinge of doubt about doing this. She tried to squash this niggling feeling, but something must have shown on her face.

"No, Katrina," Archie said quietly. "I do want you to stay, but it has to be your decision. Choosing to stay because I want you to puts the decision in my hands. This isn't mine to make. This is your life and our lives that we are talking about."

"You know, I've done a lot of thinking about this. Most of it between yesterday and today, but some of it over the last few months." Archie looked at Katrina, "I know what it's like to make the choice. I had to decide whether or not to stay at Glenbogle. It wasn't a choice I wanted to make. I had a life in London. It was my life for five years and I was happy, I thought. But after coming back, I wasn't sure. When I finally made my choice, I hurt someone very, very dear to me. She tried to give up her life to be with me, but in the end, it hurt us both badly."

Katrina reached for Archie's hand. "Archie, I'm not Justine. I love this place. I want to make it a better place and I want to be here with you."

"I know, Katrina," Archie replied. "I think what I'm trying to say is, if you stay with me, will you later regret not taking this opportunity? This is my life, Katrina. Making Glenbogle a success is something I'm committed to seeing through. Let's be honest. We've been happy together these last few months. But we've still been living our separate lives - you with your teaching and politics, and me with Glenbogle. But if you stay, if you become my wife, will you be able to compromise your dreams and hopes? Will you be happy as the "Laird's Wife", not Katrina Finley, councilwoman or wonderful teacher? Will it be enough for you?"

Katrina's face twisted in anguish. She had asked herself the same questions. She just didn't know.

Archie continued, "Katrina, I love you, but I don't want to see you slowly come to regret the decision. And you're not going to be able to know the answer unless you take the position. I know how important politics are to you and I know, too, that this is an opportunity of a lifetime. You have so much to offer."

Katrina looked at Archie, "You sound so sure that if I stay with you, our relationship will suffer. Don't you think we're stronger than that? Yes, I'm not happy at the thought of being just the "Laird's wife." But I know that I'm more than that. I'll continue to teach and be a part of the community. There are other ways of fulfilling my dreams without losing you."

"And when your politics comes up against my visions for Glenbogle, what then?" Archie asked softly. "How will you feel having to make that choice? We've not even touched on children."

The silence was deafening. It was like they had entered a vacuum.

Katrina could feel a slow anger building inside of her. "I don't think I like what I'm hearing, Archie. You don't seem to have a lot of faith in us, in me. It seems that there is something here that I'm only now beginning to see. You don't trust me! You jumped to conclusions when you saw the fax from Mary and you are doing it again. Is this your way of saying you want out of this relationship?" she asked with a barely suppressed sarcasm.

"No Katrina." He was making a hash of this. "Maybe I'm saying I don't know if I can watch what we have deteriorate if you find being my wife will make you unhappy," Archie answered lamely.

"Well, you certainly sound sure that will be the outcome if I stay and we get married. If you feel that way, why are we even having this conversation? You seem to have some strong reservations about our future. I'm lost in your eyes, no matter which way I decide," she said.

Tears of anger and unhappiness filled Katrina eyes. Archie looked on the verge of crying himself. Nothing was going right, here. What did he want, a promise that she would never blame him for her unhappiness? Was there really another reason for his ambivalence? I'm happy with her now, he thought, but when I think of our lives in the future, why am I so worried that it will lead to unhappiness? No answer.

Katrina stood up. "I think, Archie, that I will take that job in London," her voice was cool and even now. "I'll let Mary know in the morning. This has certainly been an educating evening."

"Katrina," Archie said as he stood, "I'm sorry. This isn't turning out the way I hoped it would."

"No," replied Katrina, "but it certainly has opened up some serious problems for us. I think you'd better go, Archie."

"We haven't really finished," he said laconically.

"I think we have, Arch. Let's let it go at that. I'll be leaving for London as soon as I can clear things up here at the cottage."

"Katrina, please. Let's not leave it like this. I'll come over tomorrow..." his words were cut off by a wave of Katrina's hand.

"No, Archie. I've made my decision. Please leave now."

Archie picked up the basket on the table and walked to the door. He looked at Katrina standing in the middle of the room and wanted so much to walk over and hold her. She looked brittle enough to crumble to dust if he did that. He felt his heart breaking as the reality of the end of their relationship hit him. He turned without saying anything more and walked out of the cottage.

At the sound of the door closing, Katrina felt all the energy that was keeping her upright leave in a rush. She sagged into the chair, stunned at the way the evening had turned out. Then the tears came.

**THE END**


End file.
